Evangelion: Part Deux
by future bra
Summary: Two Angels have already come; one is destryed and one is off to steal panties. What could possibly happen now? What will Shinji do? Will Kaji ever get into PlayGirl? Well...most of these questions are answered! ON HOLD
1. No Need for Destiny

_Authors Note: First of all, I don't own Evangelion. If I did, then I would be rich, but alas, I'm poor. I do own my character, Annya Keyton. You must have my permission to user her.  Second, this fic contains spoilers and is completely unrelated to my earlier fic "Sins of the Father". This fic is a parody/humor type. Think along the lines of Scary Movie/Scary Movie 2.  And now, on with the story!_

_This story goes along the lines that the series ended with the death of Kaoru._

**Chapter 1: No Need for Destiny**

The room was dark except for the light that surrounded Gendo Ikari. He was sweating a lot. He was in front of the SEELE members once again.

"Gendo, is the Sixth Child here yet?" Came a voice off to the left. 

_'I hate this.'_ Gendo thought.

"No, not yet. The child is being flown in from America as we speak." Gendo pushed his glasses back into place.

"Your incompetence is dully noted," another voice said.

_'Why must they all talk at once like this?'_

"The Child would have been her sooner but she put up a little resistance." Gendo said, wiping some sweat from his forehead.

"Leave us." Gendo turned around and the light went out.

"He's a pest."

"I agree."

"Did he say that the Sixth Child was a girl?"

"…"

"You know what his means don't you?" he continued.

"…"

"We will need to put more hidden cameras in the girls shower's!" The rest of the board members began to sweatdrop.

A girl unbuckled her seat belt as the plane came to a halt. She grabbed her bag out of the overhead storage compartment and joined the line of people rushing off the plane. Soon she had gotten her other bag from the luggage pick-up and walked slowly toward the exit. She was tall with jet-black hair with white highlights. She wore a long black trench coat. Her leather pants showed off much of her figure with her red tank top showing of the rest.

_'Why would I be chosen to be an EVA pilot? I though all of the Angels were gone.'_

She stepped out onto the street. There were some sirens going off. Everything was deserted. She could hear explosions off in the distance. She pulled a picture out of her pocket: a naked man with short brownish hair and beard stubble cupping his crotch. There was a not written on it saying 'Do you want to see what I bring to the party?'

_'Brother. I hope I don't have to live with this guy.'_

Shinji ran down one of the many NERV hallways. Misato, Asuka, and Rei followed him.

"What's going on?" Shinji asked.

"We're under attack! Angels!" Misato said.

"What?!?!" Shinji yelled as they entered the control room. Misato never got a chance to answer him.

"Misato, we're getting blue!" Maya yelled. Alarms started to go off all over.

_'What's going on?'_ Shinji thought.

"Shinji…"

_'I don't want to have to pilot again.'_

"Baka Shinji…"

_'I want to open a noodle cart!'_

Asuka slapped Shinji across his face, bring him out of his thoughts.

"Shinji, let's go!" she yelled. He nodded and they went out the door.

The girl had now been walking for quite some time. She had seen no one that looked like the pervert in the picture. In fact, she hadn't seen anyone at all. The explosions had been getting louder. She was a little scared but not much. She knew that she would be okay. She didn't know how or why she knew it but she did.

Suddenly, there was a large explosion on her left and she was sent flying. It took her a minute to open her eyes. Her head was throbbing. She touched the right side of her head. She could tell she was bleeding.

_'Blood…'_ Memories flooded back into her mind. _'The entry plug…it smelled like blood.'_

Then she saw the Angel. It was black, white, and red. It looked like a person in shape but it had a weird head on it. It seemed to be starting at her.

"Oh my God…" she said out loud. "I want to go back home." 

The Angel began to move toward her. It was the size of a small building. The ground shook as it walked forward. The girl stood up, her coat billowing out behind her. A tentacle as thick as a tree shot out toward her.

_'This is it. At least I don't have to be an EVA pilot,'_ she thought.

The tentacle flew through the air and struck into the ground. A long eerie silence followed. The girl opened her eyes.

_'I'm…I'm still alive,'_ she thought. She looked over to hr left. The tentacle missed her by about 2 1/2 feet. She began to sweatdrop.

"You stupid Angel! You missed!" She yelled. The Angel continued to look at her only now with a quizzical look on its face (if you could say it had a face to give any type of look). "I can't believe you missed by 2 1/2 feet! That's pathetic. Next time I'll put a bull's eye on my chest!" The Angel began to sweatdrop. 

_'What a strange girl. I am Enziquri. No mere human has the right to speak to me like that. But wait, I did miss. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Oh…why is it always me!'_ the Angel thought. It was so distracted that it didn't notice that the girl had grabbed her bags and was running like hell. 

"What do you mean it missed?" Misato said.

"It missed her by 2 1/2 feet. It must be way out of practice." Maya said and then turned back to the monitor. 

"Who was she?"

"The Sixth Child. Kaji has been sent to fetch her," a new voice said.

Everyone jumped. Commander Ikari stood behind Misato, his face grim as ever. Suddenly, Gendo turned to Maya.

"Give me the gum you're chewing." He said.

"Um…yes sir." She said and spit it into her hand. The commander took it from her. He then took off his glasses and placed the gum on the upper part of his nose. Everyone starred open mouthed at him as he placed his glasses back on. They were not firmly stuck in the gum. Misato tried to say something but couldn't. Everyone starred at Gendo.

"What?" he said breaking the silence. On one answered. "Gum is the only thing that keeps my glasses on. It also helps get rid of zits too." He added and left. Misato sweatdroped while several other people fell over. 

The girl had been running for about half a black. She had seen the EVA's launch and to battle the Angel. He wanted to get as far away as she could. A car pulled up beside her and the window rolled down.

"Are you Annya Keyton?" a man asked. It was the pervert from the picture.

_'Gee, he looks better in person.'_ She thought.

"I'm Kaji. I'll be…" Annya had already gotten into the car.

"You know, you look better with your clothes on." She said as they drove toward NERV headquarters.

_'Maybe this is my destiny,'_ she thought.


	2. No Need for Living Arrangements

_Chapter 2 is here!  Annya and Asuka face off, Kaji gets a nosebleed, and Shinji daydreams.  And…who is Drunken Master?_

**Chapter 2: No Need for Living Arrangements**

Shinji had defeated the Angel easily.  It didn't even put up a fight.  It had just waited to be shot.

            "It looked depressed," Shinji had said.

Annya and Kaji had gotten back to NERV with no problems.  They were currently going to Gendo's office.  Misato was with them and they were waiting for Shinji, Asuka, and Rei.  Shinji came out first.

            "Shinji, I want you to meet the Sixth Child," Misato said. "Here name is Annya Keyton."

Shinji turned and saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.  He could tell that her hair was not its natural color but her eyes were so beautiful.  Annya saw the way he was looking at her and blushed slightly.

            "Hi," she said.  Rei came out next and didn't say much.

            "You're not an Angel are you?  The last pilot we had turned out to be one." She said in her monotone voice.  Annya noticed how cold her eyes were.

            "Hey wonder Girl, where did you go?" came a voice from within the locker room.  Annya's face went white.

            "What's wrong Annya?" Shinji asked.

            "That voice…it can't be…"she said.  Several unpleasant memories flashed through her mind as Asuka walked out in a pair of daisy dukes and a skintight tanktop.

            "Oy!" Shinji exclaimed and his nose started to bleed.  Rei rolled her eyes.

            "Oh Kaji, you've come back to me!" Asuka cried and jumped into his arms, oblivious to Annya's presence.  Annya looked as if she was looking at a ghost but there was anger rising in her eyes.  Misato was overly pissed due to the fact that Asuka was all over Kaji.

            "Asuka Langley Soryu!" Annya said suddenly.  Her voice was filled with anger and hate.  Asuka's eyes widened and she jerked around.

            "Annya Keyton!?!  What…" she started but was cut off by a fist in the face.  Asuka jumped down from Kaji's arms and slapped Annya.  Shinji and Kaji both starred at he two girls as they began fighting.

            "Do something!" Misato said as Asuka ripped Annya's shirt.

"I'd like too…" Kaji trailed off.  He was drooling at the sight of Asuka sitting on top of Annya slapping her.

"I know I shouldn't watch…but I can't take my eyes off it." Shinji said, his nose bleeding even more that earlier.  Rei and Misato sweetdropped while they tried to pull the two girls apart.

"Where will she stay?" Gendo asked.

"We'll take care of that," a SEELE member said.  "In the mean time, get her EVA in order."

"As you wish." Gendo said and left.

"So long looser!" another member said after he was gone.  Everyone laughed.

"I think she should stay with Misato." 

"Oh, you mean 'Drunken Master'."

"Ha.  That was a good one.  Let's call her that from now on."

"Why should she stay there?  You saw what happened when she saw that nutty German."  A few of the members nodded their heads.

"That's why I think she should stay there."

"I see. They work out their differences and, in the process, learn something semi-important about themselves and the world."

"Well…that too…but I wanted to see them fight again.  Maybe they'll rip their clothes completely off."

"You're a pervert!" the head member said, "And that's why you're here.  She will stay at 'Drunken Master's."  Everyone cheered.

"What do you mean she's staying here?!" Asuka yelled at Misato.

"Exactly what I said.  Live with it!" Misato yelled back.  Shinji made the mistake to enter the kitchen where the too were arguing.

"Shinji!" Asuka thundered.  Shinji shuddered and tried to run.  The brassy redheaded caught him easily.  "That new girl is staying here, with us.  Tell Misato no!"  She pleaded.

"She's…staying here." He asked dreamily.  Asuka's mouth dropped open.

"What!?!?!?!" she yelled.  Shinji turned to Misato.

"Misato, I think it's a great idea," he said.  "She can protect me form the redheaded monster!" he added.

"Ingrate!" Asuka yelled and punched him in the face.  Shinji fell backward in the floor and Asuka leapt on top of him and began to choke him.

"Oh my, get a look at this.  The girl isn't even there yet and the fighting's started." A member said.  The others turned their attention to the screen and watched Asuka choke Shinji.  They all began to pass a tub of popcorn around.

Annya stood at the door of her new home.  She could hear everything going on inside, and was sweat dropping.  She slowly pressed the buzzer and the door almost immediately opened.  Misato stood there with a broad grin plastered on her face.

"Welcome to our…"

"Baka!  Die!  Die!  Die!" Asuka's screams interrupted Misato, who began to sweatdrop.

"…humble abode," Misato muttered and motioned for Annya to come in.  Shinji saw her enter.  He watched as she slowly sat her bag down and began to take in her surroundings.

_'She's so beautiful!'_ he thought.  He casually threw Asuka off of him and got up off the floor.  Asuka landed head first on the floor.

"Ahh!  Why did you…do…" she trailed off as she watched Shinji latterly float over to Annya and greet her.  "That vixen!" she hissed and stood up.  "I'll get her!" she said and took a step forward.  Her foot landed on something and slid.  She could only cry out in desperation as the world flipped and she landed, for the second time, on her head.

"Asuka!" Misato cried and rushed over to her.  The girl was out cold.

"I've never seen her do that before." Shinji said to Annya.  "Here, I'll show you your room."  He took her hand and she immediately blushed as Shinji lead her down the hallway.


	3. No Need for Attractions

_Asuka has a nightmare!  Scary Movie 2 parody warning!  (Note:  Angel attacks are just two chapters away!  Also, thanks for the good reviews.)_

**Chapter 3: No Need for Attractions**

            Shinji had been awake for a few hours.  He could not sleep.  He kept on thinking about Annya.

            _'Our rooms are right next to each other.  We share a wall.  She's so nice, and beautiful.  Her personality is different from everyone else's.  Asuka is mean with a short temper.  Rei doesn't show a lot of emotion.  Annya…she seems innocent of many things.  She's never been in combat before.  She seems to understand me.  I like her,'_ he thought as he closed his eyes.

            Asuka ran as fast as she could.  The Angel was chasing her and she couldn't get away.

"Help me!  Please!  I need help!" she cried.  Suddenly, she felt arms around her and the surroundings changed.  She was in her room.  She turned and found Shinji staring at her.

            "Asuka, I love you," he said.  She blinked at him.

            _'He…he said he loved me,'_ she thought as he pulled her closer.  She felt a chill and realized that they were both naked.

            "Asuka…I need you.  Never leave me."  He kissed her in the lips tenderly.  She kissed him back.  He moved his hands around her.  His touch electrified her to no end.

            _'Is this what love feels like?'_ she wondered as he laid her back.  The warmth of her body felt good.  He continued to grope her as he kissed her.  She moaned softly as she pulled him closer.

            "Asuka…"

            "Yes Shinji?"  Her eyes were closed.

            "I think she's starting to suspect something."

            "Who?"  Asuka suddenly felt Shinji's body shape change.  Asuka became alarmed and opened her eyes.

            "Your housemate!"  Asuka eyes widened in surprise as she looked at who was in Shinji's place.  It was Annya.  She had a strange smile on her face.  Asuka tried to cry out but was stopped by Annya, who pulled her into a French kiss.

            "AHHH!"  Asuka sat up, eyes wide.  She was breathing hard and was covered with sweat.  "Thank God it was only a dream," she said to herself as she lay back down.  'I won't be able to sleep for a month,' she thought as she stared up at the ceiling.

Annya sat on her bed.  She had been having a wonderful dream.  She was woken up by the sound of Asuka crying out in her sleep.  Annya though back to the day they had first meet.

Annya had been in a park in New York on vacation.  She heard a sound and saw Asuka storming toward her.  She began yelling at her in German and Annya took offense.  Asuka then attacked her.  The fight was broken up and Asuka was dragged off.  Annya assumed that Asuka was sent back to Germany.

_'Lucky me.  Now she has a chance to get revenge,'_ she thought with dismay.  She got up from her bed and put on a robe.  She then went to the kitchen.  She was careful not to make a sound.  She tiptoed over to the refrigerator and opened the door on the right.

_'Oh my God, it's filled to the rim with beer!'_ she thought.  She opened the other side and found some sodas.  She grabbed one and shut both doors.  She was just starting to walk away when the bottom compartment to the other refrigerator opened and a penguin stepped out.

"W…what?!" she choked out as it wattle over to her.  It had on a small metal backpack.

"It's okay.  He's Pen-Pen.  He's a warm water penguin."  Annya turned to see Shinji standing behind her.  Annya blushed a little.

"I'm sorry.  Did I wake you up?" she asked.

"No.  I couldn't sleep," he said as he went over to the refrigerator and took out a soda.  After he closed the door he motioned for her to follow him.  He headed back down the hall and into his room.  Annya stopped in the doorway.  

"Come on in.  I'm not going to bite," he said and smiled.  Annya blushed some more and entered his room.  She sat down on a chair that he pulled next to his bed.  "So, tell me what America is like.  I've always wanted to go there," he said.  Annya smiled.

"It's big but not as crowed as Japan.  I like it better here.  The scenery is more serine," she said.  

_'It's more serine because you're in it,'_ Shinji thought with a smile.  

"So, ah…do you want me to show you around sometime?" he asked, his face growing red.  Annya also became to blush.  "We could see a movie."

"Sure.  I'd love to," she said and stood up.  "Well, it's late and all…so I guess I'll see you in the morning.  Goodnight."  Shinji watched her leave the room.

_'I have a date with the hottest girl in all of Toyko-3!'_ he thought and fell back onto his bed, a large smile on his face.

Asuka made her way back to her room.  Tears were running down her face.

_'How could she!  She's put that baka under her control!  She's trying to get rid of me, just like she did in America.  Well…two can play at this game.  If I can't have Shinji, no one will!'_  She wiped her eyes and went back to sleep.


	4. No Need for Rivals

_Asuka goes after Annya! The battle for Shinji has begun!_

**Chapter 4: No Need for Rivals**

Annya woke up to the sound of Misato yelling at someone. She quickly got out of bed and got dressed. She put on a t-shirt and some baggy jeans.

"You're such a pig sometimes!" she heard Misato yelling as she came into the kitchen. Kaji was sitting in a chair. Asuka was once again all over him. Shinji was sweatdropping as he prepared breakfast.

"Good morning Annya." Misato said looking up at her. Shinji turned and smiled at her. Asuka growled at her.

"Well, if it isn't the princess herself," Asuka said coldly.

"Your still not over the New York thing are you? That was a long time ago," Annya said as she sat down across the table from the German.

"You're taking a big chance sitting across from me. I could come over the table at you," Asuka replied. Annya swallowed hard and sweatdropped a little.

_'Its going to be a long day,' _she thought as Asuka jumped onto the table.

"Asuka, get off the table. I don't have anywhere to put the food!" Shinji said. Asuka got down and sat at the far end of the table. Shinji sat in Asuka's vacated seat and watched Annya eat her meal.

_'Wow. She's so good looking. I can't wait to go out with her,' _he thought. Asuka frowned with disapproval.

_'They must have some something last night,' _she thought. '_Well, I'll make my move today at NERV.' _She then started to laugh hysterically.

"Um…are you…okay?" Annya asked. Asuka stopped and squinted her eyes at the girl. Her eyes began glowing like fire.

"Silence! You'll get yours soon enough," she hissed and went back to her laughter. Annya turned blue in the face and chuckled a bit as everyone else sweatdroped.

"Shinji, you're doing good. Your sync ratio has gone up 4%," Misato said into the microphone. The simulation ended and Shinji breathed a sigh of relief. He hated to be in the entry plug.

"Annya, its your turn next," Misato said. Annya was already in her EVA and was nervous. She had done the tests a few times but she felt as though she had to prove herself. She also knew that Commander Ikari was watching.

"Okay…let's begin," she said. The simulation started. She was in some section of the city. The Angel she had seen the other day was in front of her. She took a long breath and started to fire at it. She followed its movements exactly.

"Wow. She's good. I can't believe that she's never been in a real battle," Kaji said.

"Misato, her sync ratio is equal with Shinji's!" Maya said in astonishment.

"It can't be. She's higher than me!" Asuka yelled.

"I hate to tell you this, but even Toji's sync ratio was higher than your," Rei said quietly. Asuka's face turned red with anger.

_'I'd strangle her if I wasn't in this entry plug!' _she thought bitterly. Annya's test finished and everyone was applauding her. 'I won't let her get the best of me!'

_"I won't let her get the best of me!"_

Asuka's thoughts echoed through the core of her EVA. Normally it would have ignored her because it found her to be quite annoying. But today it sensed her anguish and frustration. It was curious as to way she felt so strongly. It watched the new EVA and its pilot run through the simulation.

_'It's better than me. It even looks better than me!'_ It thought. The new EVA was black, white, and purple. It was almost an exact replica of EVA - 01. It understood now how the silly child felt. And it knew what it had to do: destroy its rival.

Asuka began the simulation. Almost immediately, she realized something was different.

_'It's actually listening to me,' _she thought as she breezed through the simulation.

"She's…improved…" Maya choked out. "Her sync ratio is almost equal to Shinji and Annya's."

"This is quite an unexpected surprise," Kaji said. "I never expected her to ever be as good as Shinji."

"I think it's trying to bond with her or something," Shinji said.

"What do you mean?" Misato asked.

"The only way the EVA's will work with anyone that well is if both it and the pilot have a common goal," he said/

The simulation ended and Asuka's EVA turned towards the others. Shinji, Rei, and Annya all gulped as it raised it's gun and fired 5 shots into the right arm of Annya's EVA. Annya screamed out in pain as she EVA slammed against the wall and slid into a sitting position.

"Annya!" Shinji yelled.

"Emergency ejection!" Misato yelled. All of the entry plugs ejected except for Asuka's.

"EVA - 03 not responding!" Maya said as she rapidly typed commands into the computer.

Shinji got out of his plug and rushed over to Annya's. The hatch was slightly open and he lifted it up. Annya was curled up in a fetal-like position clutching her right arm. She was shaking. Shinji reached in and pulled her out. He sat down and sat her on his lap. He leaned her up so that her head was on his shoulder and he held her tightly.

"My…arm…" she moaned. Her face was pale.

"Shhh…its all right. The pain will go away," he told her. Her arm was bleeding badly and he tried to press his hand over the wound. Annya opened her eyes and looked at Shinji. She smiled.

"Shinji, is she okay?" Misato asked over the intercom.

"Yes. She bleeding though," he said. He looked over at EVA - 03. The entry plug came out and fell to the floor. A minute later, Asuka emerged with a triumphant grin on her face.

"Asuka! How could you?" Shinji yelled with anger apparent in his voice.

"Annya." Asuka said. Annya looked over at the other girl, her eyes cloudy with pain. "We are rivals. May the best pilot win." Asuka turned and walked out of the room, leaving Annya bewildered.

"What in the hell…" she murmured to herself. Shinji looked down at the girl in his arms.

"Come on. Let's get you to a doctor," he said and helped her up. She leaned into him as they walked slowly toward the door. Rei ran over to help.

"Its okay Rei. I've got her," Shinji said. Rei nodded and went to open the door. She had just started to press the button to open it when Misato and Kaji entered, almost running her over.

"Annya…" Kaji said with a look of concern on his face.

"I'm fine. Just a little sore," she replied and forced a smile. _'Asuka will pay for what she did. If she won't to be rivals, that's fine with me. I just hope she knows exactly what's she's gotten herself into.'_


	5. No Need for Naked Fun

_It's the moment you've all been waiting for! Gendo's naked! No…wait…where are you going? I was just kidding. It's Asuka that's naked! That's right! What, you want to know why? Well grasshopper, you'll just have to read to find out._  
  
  


**Chapter 5: No Need for Naked Fun**  
  
  


Shinji let the warm water run over him. Soon, his body began to relax.

_'I can't believe that Asuka tried to kill Annya. And what's with eh rival business? At least Annya is okay. The gash wasn't infected,' _he thought.

Annya had received 32 stitches to close the gash on her arm. When the plug had been ejected, it hit the EVA on the way down. The jolt caused a panel to blow and a chunk of metal had hit her. The doctor said she didn't have to stay overnight at the hospital.

_'Ahhhh…this is so relaxing.' _He turned the faucet to make the water a little hotter._ 'I wish I could take long showers at home. Misato and Asuka hog the bathroom too much. I wonder if Annya like to take showers…' _The thought of Annya in a shower sent unexpected shivers through him. _'Ahh! What am I thinking?! I'm going to get myself worked up if I keep thinking about her.'_  
  
  


Outside the men's locker room, Asuka stood silently with a grin on her face. She looked up and down the hallway to make sure no one was there and quickly stepped inside. She could hear the shower running.

_'This will be very interesting. He'll never be able to resist me and then he will be mine!'_ She chuckled as she slipped out of her pants and top.  
  
  


Shinji turned off the water and stuck his hand out of the curtain. He started to grope around looking for his towel. After a minute his hand landed on something warm.

_'Huh? What's this? It's warm and kind of gushy.' _He slightly squeezed it._ 'It's got some kind of round point on the end of it. Wait…warm…gushy…point…' _Shinji's face turned blue and he flung open the curtain.

"Shinji," purred a very naked Asuka.

"Ah! A…A…Asuka! What are you…doing in here!?!" he stammered.

"I want you Shinji. You're the only one for me," she said seductively.

"Eeep!" he cried as she took a step forward.  
  
  


Meanwhile at SEELE…

"My oh my! I hope your recoding this."

"I knew she would try this one day. Pay up!" No one on the board paid any attention. They were too engrossed on what was happening in the shower.

"How much do you think this will sell for on the Internet?" one asked.

"A lot. Let's make several copies."

"Agreed."  
  
  


"Stop it! Get out of here!" Shinji yelled at the top of his lungs. Asuka had him pinned to the wall of the shower. She was running her hands along his chest.

"Oh Shinji…" Asuka purred as she started to move her hands towards his thighs.

"Help me! I'm being raped!" he yelled and tried to push the girl off of him. 'She's completely lost it. What's gotten into her?' Shinji thought as he tried to escape the grasp of the horney German. He saw his chance and shoved her aside. He bolted out of the shower and into the locker room. He grabbed his pants and quickly pulled them on.

"Shinji! Come back here. Take me into your arms," Asuka yelled as she stumbled into the room.

"I don't like you like that. No put your clothing on and go away!" he yelled back.

_'This isn't working!' _she thought. _'I'll just have to play rough.' _She ran toward Shinji with her arms out. Shinji screamed, ran out the door, and down the hall. Asuka, who was still naked, gave chase.  
  
  


Annya was waling down the hall toward the girls locker room when she heard Shinji screaming. She turned and saw him running towards her. He only had on a pair of pants and looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Annya…help me!" he cried as he ran behind her and cowered with fear. Annya turned around and faced him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"She's…she's…trying…to rape me!" he stammered, trying to catch his breath.

"Huh? Rape you? Who?" she asked, confused.

"Her!" he screamed, shutting his eyes and pointing behind her. Annya whipped around and saw Asuka.

"Asuka…your…naked!" Annya said blinking. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. _'She's got some real grooming issues,' _she thought.

"Shinji, come away from her. I need you," Asuka said seductively.

"Ah! No way!" he cried and clung to Annya's back.

"Asuka, its obvious that he's not interest in your…um…offer," Annya said.

"You stay out of this!" Asuka hissed.

"I'd rather be fighting an Angel!" Shinji moaned and wrapped his arms around Annya's waist, causing her to blush.

"Hussy!" Asuka yelled and grabbed Annya by her injured arm. Annya screamed in pain as the German tried to rip out the stitches with her nails. Shinji quickly let go of Annya and yanked on Asuka's hair. Asuka cried out and tried to jerk away, only to fall backward onto her side. Annya also started to fall but Shinji caught her.

"Annya, are you all right?" he asked as he examined her arm.

"Hey…what's going on here?" Shinji turned to see Kaji coming down that hall. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Asuka. "Asuka, why are you naked?" His eyes glazed over and some blood trickled out from is nose. Asuka turned bright red and quickly stood up.

"You win this rime. Next time you won't be so lucky," she said coldly to Annya and stalked off.

"Um…can someone tell me what's going on here?" Annya asked.

"I wish I knew," Shinji replied.

"Oh, why didn't she do that back in Germany?!?" Kaji cried out. His nose was bleeding like a waterfall and he had tears coming out of his still glazed eyes. Annya and Shinji both sweatdroped and quickly hurried down the hall, leaving Kaji alone to worship the ground on which the naked German had stood.  
  
  
  


_**Quick Author's Note:** I don't know about you guys, but this is my favorite chapter this far. In the next chapter, the next angel arrives and the crossover madness begins! Also, I'll will be going back to the last chapter to corrects the EVA numbers mix up. Thanks for telling me Hyper Godzilla. Please review._


	6. No Need for School – The Third Angel Att...

_It's back after a long period of…um…stuff!!!! I hope to get many reviews!_

_The crossover insanity begins! The Third Angel is…well, if I told you it take all the fun out of it. Now with longer titles! (LONG CHAPTER ALERT)  
  
_

**Chapter 5: No Need for School - The Third Angel Attacks…well…sort of**  
  


Asuka spent the night at one of her friend's house. Misato was glad that Annya and Shinji were okay. Shinji fixed dinner while Misato took a bath and changed. Annya sat in the kitchen and watched Shinji cook. Misato emerged as soon as the food was done. She sat down and opened a can of beer.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screeched as she finished the can off in one gulp. Annya sweatdropped as Misato began her nightly drunken ramblings as she ate.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Shinji said.  
  
  
  


The next morning, Annya and Shinji walked to school together. Shinji told her what had been going on in class. He also warned her about Toji, the 4th child who was worse than Kaji.

Annya was meet with a cold stare from Asuka as she entered the classroom. There were only a few other students in the class. Shinji had told her most of them had left when the Angels returned.

"Class, I would like you to meet our new student Annya Keyton. She's from America," said the teacher.

"Hello," Annya said. Everyone smiled except for Asuka.

"Hey, come sit by me. You're a babe!" said a tall boy with black hair. There were some crutches lying by his desk. Annya reluctantly took the desk in front of him. At least she was sitting behind Shinji.  
  
  
  


Gendo sat alone in his office. He was looking at some of the readouts from Annya's EVA.

_'She will be very useful. Not only is she a good candidate for the dummy plug, she'll get rid of the German,' _he thought. He pressed a button and one of the walls slid away revealing a wooden alter with candles on it. On the wall around it were color photos of Rei floating naked in a tube. Gendo looked at them and started to drool.

"I can't wait until I get those 3D motion cards in!" he exclaimed.  
  
  
  


"So, what's your sign?" Toji asked Annya, who scowled and turned away.

"Toji, knock it off!" Shinji said. Toji gaped at him a second and then pulled him away from Annya.

"What's your problem? I'm having fun," he said. Shinji frowned.

"Your acting like a moron."

"Whoa…wait a second! Do you have a crush on her?" Toji smiled wickedly at his friend. Shinji turned beat red.

"Well…what if I do?" Shinji said, lowering his eyes.

"I'll leave her alone then. Besides, she seems to like you too."

"What makes you say that?"

"She's looking at your butt." Shinji whirled around a saw Annya staring at him. Her face turned red and she looked away. Shinji's face drained of color as Toji started to laugh.  
  
  
  


All was quiet at NERV. There were no alarms going off. No one running around yelling. No shaking of the ground. Everything was calm…too calm.

"Oh…THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS!" Misato yelled pulling at her hair. "It's too quiet!"

"I'd say it's a little too late." Kaji muttered. "You're already nuts."

"I heard that!" Misato yelled as she threw a chair at him. It hit him square in the jaw and he fell to the ground with a grunt. The chair landed on top of his face.

"Thank you," he grumbled as he passed out.

"Was that really necessary?" asked Maya, who seemed o appear out of nowhere.

"Yes!" Misato hissed. Maya smiled meekly at the fuming woman. An alarm suddenly sounded. Misato smiled.

"Misato, we've got an angel outside in the streets. It appeared out of no where!" Maya said.

"Alright!!! Let's get down to business!" Misato yelled and hunkered down in front of a monitor.  
  
  
  


Shinji, Rei, and Annya ran down the street toward NERV. Asuka had refused to join them and insisted on staying in the school.

"Maybe the Angel will do us all a favor and set on the school," Rei said. Annya and Shinji both sweatdropped. There were a few minutes of silence before anyone spoke.

"Um…Shinji…are we lost?" Annya asked. She stopped and looked around.

"Huh?" he replied as he scratched his head.

"We're back at the school," Rei said. All three glanced around with confused looks on their faces.  
  
  
  


Meanwhile at NERV, Misato entered the control room with a worried look on her face. She glanced at a monitor and began pacing around muttering about something under her breath. After a minute she looked up at the people in the room.

"Why aren't they here yet?" she questioned. "They should already be here!"

"Misato, we are getting in reports of people getting lost," Maya said. "It seems as though the Angel can bend reality in on its self."

"Oh my God! Not phase warps! Oh God no!" Misato cried with a look of horror on her face, which then twisted into a look of confusion. "What's a phase warp?" Everyone sweatdropped.

"What are you going on about? We never said anything about phase warps!" Kaji said in an annoyed voice while Maya snorted in disgust.

"Oh…sorry. I was thinking about last nights Star Trek. Or was is Red Dwarf?"

"Why is she in charge again?" Maya asked.

"Because you can't be," Kaji replied.

"Why not?" she asked angrily.

"Because of the rules. No lesbians or gays in charge."

"Oh yeah…"  
  
  
  


Annya, Shinji, and Rei sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. They had given up trying to go anywhere after the fourth time around the block.

"What's going on? We keep going in circles!" Shinji said.

"It must be the Angel," Rei said while running a hand through her hair.

"Angel-smangel!" came a voice from behind them. A strong wind blew past them. A short figure landed in front of them. He had a large bag on his back and had a ninja type outfit on. His mouth was shaped like a beak. Annya's eyes went wide with shock.

"It…it can't be! Your Haposi from Ranma ½!" she said in astonishment.

"Hey, your right! It is him," Shinji said. Rei looked at them both in confusion.

"Never heard of him or Ranma," she said.

"Yes, I am Haposi, the Third Angel," he said. "I have come to rescue my dearies. In fact, I have one right here!" He held up a black lacy bra. Annya gasped and pressed her hands to her chest.

"How…you…" she stammered. She stood up and walked toward the Angel. Shinji felt his nose begin to bleed as Annya's breasts bounced uncontrollably due to 'lack of support'.

"When I get my hands on you…" she yelled.

"Whatca goanna go C-cup? Hit me?" he said in a mockingly. He started jumping up and down waving the bra around.

"You letch!" she yelled and jumped up after him, easily grabbing her bra. She then kicked him in the face, sending him crashing onto the ground while she landed on her feet.

"Not fair! Not fair!" Haposi yelled and took off.

"You sure showed him Annya!" Shinji said running up behind her. Annya turned and smiled.

"Hey, he said he was the Third Angel right?" Rei asked. Shinji turned his attention to her.

"He did. Why do you ask?"

"Well, what happened to Angel number 2?" All three pilots looked at each other.  
  
  
  


The SEELE members sat in total darkness. One member was tapping his hand in frustration.

"I can't believe it!" he said.

"This Angel situation is getting a little weird," another said.

"No, I'm not talking about that!" the first snapped.

"…" The others made no response.

"Her bra was gone!"

"…"

"Damn the author for not having the Sixth Child take her top off!"

"Your right!" All the members turned and glared at the author, who promptly began to sweatdrop.  
  



	7. No Need for Cooked Panda

_Hello…is anyone out there? I'm back!!!!!!!!!_

_Here it is, the stunning second part to chapter 6 called…chapter 7 with a supper long name! Come and enjoy the insanity!_

_Beware – mentions of the Rocky Horror Picture Show contained within._

**Chapter 6: No Need for Cooked Panda – The Second Angel Tastes Good Breaded…Um…I Mean Attacks**

Misato was starting to pull at her hair. She was worried about the kids.

"Hey Misato…you should check this out," Kaji said. She looked over toward him. "We are getting in some strange reports about a midget running around stealing women's bras and underwear."

"Don't tell me one of the SEELE guys have lost it again," she said attempting to arch her eyebrows. She managed to get one up; giving the appearance she was poorly imitating the Rock's signature move, the People's Eyebrow.

"No. Not unless they turned themselves into Hapusi from Ranma ½."

"Wait a second, how can that be? Ranma ½ is a graphic novel series turned popular cartoon that has spawned tons of merchandise," Misato said thoroughly confused. _'God, I wish I was drunk so this type of stuff would seem normal,' _she thought. A sudden and unprovoked idea popped into her head and she made a beeline to the door.

"Where are you going?" Kaji asked. He stood and walked over to her.

"I'm going to go and find a mini fridge. Maybe it will be full of those little $8.00 bottles of beer that you find in the expensive hotels," she said and left the room, leaving Kaji behind.

"I guess I'll go with you," he muttered and followed after her.

Maya, who was sitting at the opposite end of the room being ignored as usual, sighed loudly. She returned her gaze to the computer screen.

'No wonder everyone calls her 'drunken master'!' she thought and began to fully concentrate on monitoring the current Angel situation and musing about her sad and lonely existence.

* * *

Ten minutes had passed since the Haposi encounter and the kids had given up trying to get back to NERVE. They returned to the school and were forced to listen to Asuka rant on about Annya, who had retreated to the bathroom to put her bra back on.

"I can't believe it! He stole your bra off of you and you didn't even realize it! I sure that somewhere that means you're a conniving slut," she said to the bathroom door. Annya muttered something that couldn't be heard. Toji hobbled up on his crutches and poked his head in the door.

"Hey, if you want, I can help you with that," he said with a grin. He was promptly kicked in the face and Annya poked her head out. Shinji's nose started to bleed when he saw that her bra wasn't quite on all the way.

"If you come in here again pervert, I'll smash your face in!" she yelled and shut the door again.

"She has really big hooters! I should know, I saw them myself." Toji stated with a broad grin. Shinji glared at him while the girls rolled their eyes.

'_I wanted to see them first! Damn it!'_ Shinji thought as his nose continued to trickle. Asuka stomped up to the door and banged on it.

"So, what was it like to be exposed like that? Was it the most embarrassing moment of your life? It must have been. I'm sorry to have missed it," she ranted. The door opened and Annya emerged with a scowl on her face.

"You just love the sound of your own voice don't you?" Annya said bitterly. Asuka smirked.

"You know, you should learn some modesty Annya. Decent women don't allow males to peep at them or allow others to see them in their undergarments," the German said coldly. Annya gave her a glare that clearly meant death and the others quickly put some distance between themselves and the redhead.

"Like you should be talking modestly. I seem to recall a vague memory of you running about the halls of NERVE in nothing by your 'birthday suit'!" Annya shot back. Shinji shuddered at the recollection of his near rape. Rei's mouth dropped open in shock, which was the first time Annya has seen any type of human emotion played on the girls face.

"Whoa! You were running around naked? Man, I miss all the good stuff!" Toji exclaimed with tears running down his face. Asuka's face reddened with embarrassment.

Before any further argument could ensue, the school began to shake. Everyone was knocked off their feet and Toji began shouting hysterically.

"Duck and cover! Duck and cover!" he screamed. Rei reached over and slapped him and he was shocked into silence.

"What is causing this?" Shinji said as he attempted to stand up.

"It's almost like footsteps," Annya said. She stood and braced herself against the wall. She slowly began moving toward the nearest classroom. Everyone followed suit and Toji was the first one in. The shaking stopped and Toji went over to the window. Upon his first glance out the window, he screamed.

"Oh my God! The world has gone white!" he cried, flailing his arms in the air causing him to fall over because he let go of his crutches. Asuka scoffed at him and looked out the window.

"You idiot! Something is standing in front of the building," she said in an annoyed tone. The white object began to move and the EVA pilots found themselves looking at an eye. All of them cried out and stumbled backwards. Annya quickly got up and headed out the door.

"Where are you going?" Rei called after her.

"To go and see what it is!" Annya called back and was gone. The other looked at each other and ran after her.

* * *

In a dark room, a solitary figure sat hunched in front of a monitor and some controls that look suspiciously like a PlayStation 2 controller.

"Soon, very soon, she will be mine!" He began to laugh. After a few seconds, he began coughing. It was one of those 'I'm-gonna-hack-up-a-lung' type of coughs. After the coughing fit was over, he sneezed.

"Oh great, I just wet myself!" he exclaimed to himself as he stood and hobbled out of the room.

* * *

Annya pushed open the front doors of the school and ran out onto the steps. She stopped and looked at the fat form looming over her. She began to sweatdrop as soon as she realized who it was.

"Dear God…" she muttered out loud. Shinji was the next one out. He did a double take as he too realized who it was, as did Toji.

"It's…a panda?" Rei said as she joined the others. She looked confused.

"It's Gema Saltome, another Ranma ½ character," Asuka said. The panda regarded them all for a second and then started talking. All that came out was a bunch of high and low pitched growls. Everyone sweatdroped. The panda then pulled out a dry-erase board out of thin air and began writing.

"I am the second Angel." He erased. "I can't remember why I'm here." He erased again. "Is there any cursed hot springs here?" Everyone fell over. After several seconds, Asuka jumped up.

"What kind of Angel are you? Your pathetic!" she yelled at him. A scowl crossed his panda face and he began to shrink.

"What's he doing?" Rei asked.

"I don't know. He never did anything like this in the manga," he replied. The Angel was now regular panda size. It growled at Asuka and stomped toward her.

"Eek!" she squeaked and took of running in the other direction with the Angel giving chase.

"Maybe now she'll learn to keep her big mouth shut," Annya said sarcastically.

"Somebody help me!" Asuka screamed s she ran past the group and around the corner of the building.

"Did she just run around the building that fast?" Rei asked.

"Yup. She can move when she wants to." Toji said with an amused look on his face. Asuka came around the other corner and grabbed Annya by the shoulders.

"You…gotta…help me!" She gasped shaking the girl.

"Where's the panda?" Shinji asked looking around.

"He's back by the science room window. He's sitting down trying to catch his breath. Oh…no…wait a minute…he's back on his feet again," Toji said doing a very bad Tom Madden impression.

"Do something!" Asuka cried.

"Gee, why don't you take off your clothes. Then maybe one of two things will happen. He'll either one, go blind. Or two, fall dead from fright at the sight of that shag carpet you keep hidden under there," Annya said while pointing at Asuka's skirt.

"You've got grooming issues? Who'dah thunk it," Toji said to Asuka. She glared at Annya but took off running again when a growl emanated from behind her. The panda-angel was hot on her heels.

"Well, I'm rooting for the Angel," Toji said while stretching. "Anyone else want to place bets?"

"Baka!" Rei muttered.

* * *

"What! Are you crazy?" one SEELE member asked.

"That's a stupid guess," said another.

"What do you mean? Look at that thing. It could have a heart attack at any moment!" said a third.

"That's no way to talk about the girl. She can't help it that her breasts are that big. Their smacking her in the face and weighing her down," said the first.

"I wasn't talking about the girl! I was talking about the damn panda!"

"Oh."

"Well, natural causes is a good guess and all, but look at the situation. Everything that has happen so far is totally impossible, so I'm leaning toward a death that just too plain convenient which only helps to highlight the absurdity of the moment," said a fourth.

"Okay…you're on!"

* * *

Rei, Shinji, Annya, and Toji (and don't forget the SEELE members hidden away in their dark lair) watched Asuka make another lap around the school.

"She's good! Her flopping boobs haven't knocked her out yet," Shinji said. "But…shouldn't we be trying to help her?"

"Yeah, I guess your right," Annya said.

"Party pooper," Toji muttered and Rei smacked him upside his head. Annya looked around for anything she could use against the villainous panda-angel. Suddenly, an idea formed in her head. She pictured it all out like a movie…a movie staring poorly drawn stick figures with oversize anatomy, but a movie non-the-less. Now all she need was a way to get the panda's attention. She could think of only one way.

She ran over by the corner and waited for Asuka and the panda. Once Asuka reached her, the German hid behind her, leaving Annya facing the fuzzy beast. _'I hope to God this works. It never failed Ranma,_' Annya thought and sprang into action.

"An opening!" she yelled and kicked it in the gut. The panda doubled over in pain for a second and then growled. It turned his sights on Annya. She took off running and the angry panda followed. She ran into the street toward a downed power line that was sparking with electricity.

"Where did that power line come from?" Asuka asked.

"I didn't notice it before. I wonder if the panda knocked it down on its way here?" Shinji said with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Hmmm…" they all said in unison while Annya neared the power line. Just as she was about to reach it, she veered off to the left.

"She's running around it now. Hey, is that water?" Toji asked.

"Yeah, the power line is in a large puddle of water," Rei said. They all watched the scene unfold with curiosity etched across their faces. Annya stopped running and turned to stare down the panda, who kept running towards her.

'_Just a few more steps,'_ she thought.

"Now she stopped. Does she have a death wish or something?" Asuka exclaimed. Shinji took in everything that was happening and finally, somewhere deep down in his slow-working brain, it all clicked into place.

"I know what's she's doing! Everyone watch!" he exclaimed, excited that he figured it out all on his own. The panda took one more step and suddenly went into convolutions. It cried in a mix of surprise and pain as currents of electricity ran throughout its body. After several seconds, the panda fell over stiff as a board with its tongue hanging out.

"Neat! It's been cooked," Toji said as he and the others walked up to look at the fried Angel.

"You know, that was almost too convenient, yet it fit with the fact that the Angel took the form of Gema Saltome," Annya said as she scratched her head at the absurdity of it all. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

* * *

"HA! I won!" said the SEELE member who won the bet.

"You peeked ahead in the story didn't you?" another member asked as the winning member greedily grabbed the money.

"Nope. I'm just that damn good," he replied back and started laughing. The other in the room groaned.

"You know, if your going to steal the somewhat outdated punch lines of WWE wrestlers, do us all a favor and pick something decent," one member said with a sneer.

" What's wrong with Triple Hs' lines?" he asked.

"'I am the Game-_aha_!' 'I'm going to kick your ass-_aha_!'" the other said mocking Triple H's voice and inability to speak without adding 'aha' to the end of his sentences.

"Okay, I see your point. How about 'cause I'm alcohol fueled.'"

"No, but that's a good one for 'Drunken Master'." Everyone broke into laughter.

"Um…'I'm an American Badass'?"

"First off, your Japanese. Second, in order to make it fit, you would need to replace 'bad' with 'dumb'." Everyone continued to laugh as the now embarrassed member sunk very low in his seat sweatdroping.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the apartment…Misato, Shinji, Asuka, and Annya were waiting for Kaji to put the food on the table.

"That smells good Kaji," Misato said as he placed a steak down in front of her. A few seconds later, everyone had theirs.

"Okay guys, dig in!" he said and everyone started eating.

"This is really good," Annya said between mouthfuls.

"Yeah, it's done perfectly. I didn't know you could cook Kaji," Shinji added.

"Well, I'm a man of many talents. I also rented a movie. It's the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show', one of my favorites," he said while chewing.

"I've seen that. It's great," Annya said.

"What's it about," Asuka asked.

"Um…you just have to watch it. It's a musical…kind of," Annya replied.

"I was wondering, what did they do with that Angel?" Misato asked suddenly. Kaji grinned a little.

"Well, ah, that's kind of a 'tender subject'," he replied. Annya immediately froze and peered of the piece of steak she was about to into her mouth. She got a little pale.

"What's wrong?" Shinji asked. He stared to put a piece of steak in his mouth when eh noticed something on it. It was a small clump of burned white hair. The reality of the situation clicked in his head.

"Oh my God! We're eating the panda!" he screamed. Asuka and Misato immediately ran to the bathroom as Shinji and Annya tossed down their silverware and left the dinning area.

"Well, since no one else is hungry…I guess I'll have to eat all of these myself," Kaji said gleefully and continued eating his 'panda steak'.

**Authors Note: **

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated this story. I've had a lot going on between school stuff and working at a job that would allow me no time off. I only have one chapter left that is hand written so it may take a while for me to write chapter 9. I'm also going to go back and fix the spelling errors and stuff as well as the format.

**Fanfic Contest!!!! -- Check out my website futurebra . topcities . com (remove spaces) for details. The deadline is the 29th but I may extend it depending on how many entries it get.**

Reviews:

Koworu-Lova3018 – I choose _Enziquri _as the name for the first Angels because it is the name of a wrestling move used mostly by the now retired X-Pac. In fact, all the Angels will be crossover characters from other shows and I figured it fit with that theme.

Hyper Godzilla – thanks for telling me about the EVA numbers. I'll have to go back and fix that.

Everyone else – I'm glad you love the story. Thanks for the reviews!


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